Category Archives: Uncategorized

Country Lane Defence!

Don’t know why, but yesterday I couldn’t help coming up with a solution to the common problem of defending a country lane from potential attackers, including tanks.

Rather cunning, i thought. And economical, too.

Let’s just hope that society doesn’t crumble and that we’ll never have to use these booby traps. Hmm, might just make sure that crow scarer is handy, though.

Cheers,

Philip

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Thought for the Day – the Sun

So, if the sun is the source of all heat for our planet, why does it get colder the further away from the earth’s surface you get?

Why is the vacuum of space -273 degrees C? Surely, with no atmospheric protection from the rays of the sun, one should receive the full heat straight away?

Indeed, should there not be a point where one can float, nearer the sun than we are, where space is actually quite hot?

This massive ball of gas, our sun, cannot just ‘end’ at a definite point, surely? It is, we are given to understand, a flaming ball of gas – surely it’s not a million degrees at one point and then, where ‘space’ starts, it’s -273?

I propose that there is a distance from the sun that one can stand, that is actually a comfortable room temperature. Beyond this point it gets progressively hotter, much like a terrestrial ‘barbeque’. Indeed, from this point in space, one could potentially offer a suasage on a stick in the direction of the sun, and in no time at all it would become a tasty, well-cooked snack. (space-chefs should note that, depending on the length of the stick, it may also become a, so familiar to the terrestrial bbq, ‘sausage-shaped lump of carbon’).

So confident am I of this prediction that I propose to send a dog into space on the next NASA mission, equiped with marshmallows, (to keep it simple for the dog), and a series of sticks of varying lengths.

Anyone who wishes to contribute towards the funding of this project, and hence share in the undoubtedly ‘astronomical’ rewards can visit our companion site, wiseacre.com

Cheers,

Philip

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The Biggest Day of This Photon’s Life

Prologue

This story deals with a seeming paradox in the world of quantum physics. That is, that light can be proven to be both a particle and a wave, depending on how you look at it. It stems from theories and experiments from the mid-twentieth century; Einstein and all that.

Story

It was the big day for this photon – there he sits, snugly, in the particle accelerator, waiting for the green light.

For months he has been preparing for this moment; hanging out with the larger electrons, learning ow they came to be as big as they are, while he was still barely a nucleus.

To the mesons and bosons he had spoken, whilst they raced along backwards and forwards, (and sometimes both!). From them he learned the order of things, the ‘elimentariness’ of the world.

And now he was ready, sitting there, waiting for the electromagnets to warm up. Soon he would be journeying, at the speed of light, towards the most important event of his life!

Soon it came – the hum in the background, the green light came on – he was off! Out through the barrel of the gun he went, out into the unknown, out into the world!

And there it was – the famous dark screen that his contemporaries had whispered about. ‘Be careful,’ they had said, ‘for a choice awaits you there. Beware of That Which Watches.’

Onwards he hurtled, and then he saw them – two there were, many many orders of magnitude larger than himself – looming, gaping holes in the screen. He knew his purpose then, he knew what he was here to do. He braced himself,preparing for that most sacred act that a photon can perform.

He concentrated and, slowly but surely, as he sped along, his whole being stretched, blurred, smoothed and spread. He was going for it! He was now truly a wave, spreading though the ether, a movement of energy, not of particles; propagating himself towards the voids in the screen.

But wait! What is this? As he approaches the screen he can see, concealed behind each hole – particle detectors!

‘Oh no!’ he thought – ‘if That Which Watches’ is expecting a particle, how will It notice me, if am but a wave?’ Losing his concentration completely, the photon collapses back into a single particle, and just scrapes through one of the holes in the screen…

And there he is picked up by one of the detectors, like an all-seeing orb, as passes on to the sensitive plate beyond.

the photon hits this new plate and comes to rest, the agony of the journey and the energy expended in collapsing from wave to particle finally spent, all remaining of him a single spot on a photographic plate.

Epilogue

In another world a human being looks up from a small photographic plate and turns to another human, saying ‘You see, Albert, I told you light was a particle…’

Thanks to Sarah de Nordwall and the Scanners crew for inspiration and support.

Disclaimer: I know the physics isn’t bang on; it’s just a story x

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